I Choose Death

Nevermind the fact I haven't composed a post in god knows how long...nevermind the fact I'm unemployed, baseball didn't work out, I'm depressed, the real world sucks, Steve is a doucher, and this dude is smiling while blowing his brains out. Fuck that noise.

I've been watching the playoffs intently (NBA playoffs, noone cares about hockey) and I've thoroughly enjoyed watching every game, particularly in this round. OKC is the truth and they're going to win the NBA finals this year; it doesn't matter if the Celtics or Heat win. And that's the point of this post...who can I possibly root for during tonights game. Because these are literally two of my least favorite teams in sports. First, you've got the Celtics, who as a team I actually like. I love KG, I like Rondo, Pierce is clutch, and Ray Allen will always be Jesus Shuttlesworth, the young man from Lincoln Highschool in my heart. It's not the players I can't stand, its the fans. They suck. Horrible, horrible fans. In terms of actual human fans (I'm labeling Philly fans as a completely seperate breed of people, almost ape like creatures) they are the flat out worst. Bandwagon loserasses. Whether it's the fahckin B's, the C's, the Sawx or Tawm's pats these chowda drinking losers won't ever shut the fuck up.

On to Miami. I like Wade, I even like Bosh. Juwan Howard has always been the man since his Michigan days. But there is one guy on that team I hate; and will always hate...Delonte West's son Lebron James. There is no denying that talent wise he is flat out the BEST player in the game. But this dude dissapears in big situations. Straight up does not want the ball. A coward. A fake villian. A- two -headband -wearing -because -he -can't -stand -to -be- bald -even -though-Jordan-was-bald-and-he-seeks-Jordan's-approval-in-every-facet-of-his-life Loser.

But then we come to this series. Who is the lesser of two evils? What pick benefits me? And here it is. Miami needs to win tonight. Can't have the Celtics win in Boston. Just can't do it. I want Lebron to have a glimmer of hope; a slight sparkle in his eyes and the feeling that he may have overcome adversity and will simultaneously be thrust into stardom. And then, I want Miami to lose in a tight game at home and I want Lebron to be the goat. This way I will only hear about Lebron's failures on Sportscenter. The Celtics celebration will be minor in comparison to the bashing this dude takes...and finally the best part of this plan is that OKC sweeps the Celtics in an embarassing series that crushes the morale of the city of Boston. When all of this comes to fruition I will go back to miserable existence with a subtle grin on my face. Thank you and goodnight.