What The All Star Starters Should Really Look Like

The All Star starters will be announced tonight as usual there are guys who are only gonna be there because of their name. So here it is, straight from Daddy himself it's what the All Star starters should really look like:

NL

Catcher: Carlos Ruiz (Phillies)
How are you gonna snub the guy who's leading all of the majors in hitting out of the All Star starting spot? Yeah, Molina's a better defensive catcher but this is about who's had the better first half of the season. And clearly that's Ruiz with his .364 average and adding 11 dingers and 43 RBI's. He's easily the most underrated catcher in baseball.

1st Base: Joey Votto (Reds)
Easy choice here. The Reds gave him a ton of money and he's just went out and played up to that contract. I mean .353 with 14 homers is nothing to scoff at. Dude's the real deal.

2nd Base: Aaron Hill (Diamondbacks)
Not only is he hitting .297 with 10 home runs and 35 RBI's but his on base percentage is also .361, which is the best among NL second basemen. Not a household name, but he should be the starter if we're basing it off of stats.

3rd Base: David Wright (Mets)
I mean he is hitting .357 which is second in all of baseball. Only 8 home runs but he does have 47 RBI's and his on base percentage is .449 which is absolutely ridiculous.

Short Stop: Starlin Castro (Cubs)
He's hitting .301 and he must have only walked like twice all year because his on base is only .318. However, there's not another NL short stop with numbers that are even close to him. He also has 39 RBI's and 16 stolen bases.

Left Field: Carlos Gonzalez (Rockies)
I was gonna go with Melky right here but the power numbers don't even compare. I know Melky's hitting .351 and leads the league in hits but let's get real for a minute. Car Go is hitting .333 with 17 home runs and 54 RBI's. And although Melky is hitting 18 points higher, Gonzalez is only two points behind in on base percentage. My nod goes to Car Go here.

Center Field: Andrew McCutchen (Pirates)
Dude is having himself a season. .342 average, 14 home runs and 48 RBI's. He's living up to his contract as well. He's gonna be a premier center fielder in this league for many years to come.

Right Field: Carlos Beltran (Cardinals)
God I hope this fuck steps on a leggo piece. He was healthy all of three years with the Mets and now he goes to St. Louis and is having a monster year. 20 home runs, 59 RBI's, he's hitting .312 and his on base is .400.

Starting Pitcher: R.A. Dickey (Mets)
Oh I'm biased because I'm a Mets fan. No, I still think he sucks but there's not denying he's had the best first half out of any pitcher in the NL let alone all of baseball. He's 11-1, his ERA is 2.31 and he has 106 strikeouts in 105 innings pitched. If he's not the starter this fucking thing is rigged.

AL

Catcher: A.J. Pierzynski (White Sox)
Call me a sucker for power numbers but that's what I am in this case. I know Mauer's hitting .321 and all that but let's face it, Pierzynski has the power numbers. Mauer has 3 home runs and 34 RBI's to Pierzynski's 12 and 42. Plus he's hitting .283, which isn't bad for those numbers. Mauer isn't having a Mauer type year for him.

1st Base: Paul Konerko (White Sox)
Not to mention that there's not even another first baseman close to him in average he's about forty years old with 13 home runs and 39 RBI's. His average and on base percentage puts him ahead of Prince Fielder for me.

2nd Base: Robinson Cano (Yankees)
No surprise here. .308, 18 dingers and 41 RBI's. And he hasn't even started hitting with guys in scoring position yet. He's the best second baseman in the league and it's not even a question.

3rd Base: Adrien Beltre (Rangers)
He's only hitting a modest .333, has 13 round trippers and 49 RBI's. Miguel Cabrera's close and has a little bit better power numbers. Honestly you can't go wrong with either one but I'm taking Beltre.

Short Stop: Derek Jeter (Yankees)
Hitting .305, has 95 hits and he seems to be getting better with age. Guy's gonna play until he's 44. Write it down.

Left Field: Josh Hamilton (Rangers)
24 home runs, 64 RBI's, a .312 average and he's slowed down and showed he's human over the last six weeks. And guess what? he's still probably the best player in baseball.

Center Field: Mike Trout (Angels)
How can I not go with Granderson? It's pretty simple. Granderson's hitting .241 and Trout is hitting .344. Is that simple enough for you? Oh, and he's also the most exciting player in baseball right now.

Right Field: Jose Bautista (Blue Jays)
His average is way down this year, but his power numbers have exploded for the last six weeks. He leads the majors in home runs with 26, he has 58 RBI's and he hasn't even started hitting yet. No doubt that this outfield is all about power.

DH: David Ortiz (Red Sox)
That Edwin Encarnacio guy has one more home run and one more RBI than Ortiz. But Ortiz has more hits and a higher average. What does it all mean? It means Ortiz should be the starter. Boom.

Starting Pitcher: Chris Sale (White Sox)
He's 9-2, his ERA is 2.27, opposing hitters are hitting .197 against him and his WHIP is 0.97. How can he not be the starter? And I'm a little biased because my college team got to face him two years ago. Kid's a stud and he's been the best pitcher in the AL.