I probably got the same tingling sensation in my penis last night after the Jets lost as I did when I lost my virginity. But what I got the real kick out of was the facebook statuses that took place afterwards. These aren't defriends, these are just statuses that I will be making fun of just because of the sheer joy I get from watching the Jets lose. Oh, and Slothy now has to call me Daddy for the remainder of the season. And don't take these personally, I know every single one of you and I'm even related to some of you. It's just for fun so take a joke.
1) Chris (last name removed)
"How many times is Mark going to tell us it starts with him and he needs to play better? He looks like a brownie who couldn't sell all his cookies"
My Reaction: Well, truth be told, you can't just live off of going to the AFC Championship game two years in a row mainly because he won the same thing as the team who went 2-14, except you guys got a worse draft pick. Marky Mark and the funky bunch are headed in a tailspin bro.
2) Nick (last name removed)
"HI BOYS AND GIRLS MY NAME IS TIM TEBOW! I'M A REAL SUCK ASS FOOTBALL QUARTERBACK PLAYER!!!! BUT GUESS WHAT??? I SHOW UP FOR THE LAST FIVE MINUTES OF THE GAME AND PLAY LIKE JOE MONTANA DID!!!! YEAHHHHH!!!! I AM SUCH A GREAT QUARTERBACK!!!! JUST SHOW UP FOR THE LAST FIVE MINUTES OF THE GAME!!!!!! I'll retire to Bedlam"
My Reaction: Well clearly the last five minutes worked against your vaunted Jets defense since he went 95 yards in about four minutes and thirty seconds. But what was that status dude? What are you five years old? I think someone's just a tad bit salty after that loss.
3) Gerald (last name removed)
"I feel like a Mets fan...God damn Jets, never been so disappointed in my life"
My Reaction: I'm pretty sure there have been times where you've been more disappointed. If the Jets are your biggest disappointment in life, I think you're doing okay bro.
4) Paul (last name removed)
"If Jets lose to Tebow tonight who only throws 3 passes a game I'm not watching football the rest of the year"
My reaction: Well the Jets did lose to Tebow. Looks like no more football games for you this season.
5) Tommy the Mic (he's one of our own)
"The Jets to me are that girl you love with all your heart, at times you think you could never love someone as much as you love her. But most times she's nothing but a whore and rips your heart out time after time, but you still come back to her......I loved you everyday of my life since 1997, all good things must come to an end, and it ends tonight"
My Reaction: I can feel bad for a guy like you, but it's just way too funny after reading that status. Plus every Jet fan says they're never watching them again and they always watch the next week. Although it would be hilarious if you actually gave up on your beloved team.
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