Fucking Jeter

Lots of theories circulating about Jeters recent break up with Minka Kelly. Some people saying he's gay and all these women he bangs are just a cover for his homosexuality, I think that's bullshit personally.  If you wanna make the argument that Tom Brady is gay that's definetly more believable. Anyways, I digress, The truth is that there is 100% a correlation between Jeters old hitting statistics and his recent parting with Maxims Sexiest Chick in the world (kind of makes me wanna kill myself that Jeter just gets bored of these women.)

When Jeter first started dating Minka Kelly it was three years ago. He was still hitting the shit out of the baseball, batting .334, being a straight thug and adding to his already impressive resume. He starts dating Minka Kelly, everyone figures it's going to be the same thing as always, he'll bang her for a year, get tired and move on to something else. But wait... in 2010, one year after meeting her, Jeter goes into his worst statistical season ever. Captain's not to sure what's going on, everything is out of whack, he doesn't know what to do. So what happens? Minka is there to coddle him, make him feel better, SHE listens to the press that he's over the hill and she starts making moves to lock him up for life. Meanwhile, he's struggling so badly at the plate and dealing with so many reporters saying he's an expired star he starts warming up to Minka thinking that he might not have that many good years left; so he might have to start planning for the future. After that dreadful 2010 season, he comes into 2011 absolutely sucking. He's hitting WAY below 300 and Minka is getting more and more beautiful to him...it's the only thing going right (in his mind). So he decides to get engaged, essentially packing in his career.

But then, the number 3000 starts getting closer and closer with ridiculous press surrounding the guy. He's back in the limelight again getting nothing but love from every reporter and most fans of the game. Things are starting to look right for Jeter...not for Ms. Kelly. He gets his 3000th hit in one of the best single performances I've ever seen in a baseball game and then he goes on an absolute fucking tear. Since that 3000th hit he is back to his old form. He's got the most hits in baseball since that hit and wouldn't ya know it, he peaces on Minka Kelly.

That's my theory, Jeters recent surge has eased his mind mentally and made him realize that he should just continue being the same old Derek Jeter. He's a legend in every aspect of his life and I've got nothing but love for him.

P.S. Can't wait for the Yankees to shit on the Sox in September like they always do.