Everyone knows those girls who aren’t exactly what one would call skinny, but they dress like they have the body of a super model. You know what I mean, they wear the two-piece bathing suites at the beach with the rib fat hanging out, they wear the belly shirts with the FUPA hanging out and take pictures of themselves in the mirror thinking it looks good. Everyone knows the girls I’m talking about; don’t sit there and try to lie to yourself; you know I’m right.
The main problem with these girls is that they aren’t even cool girls, they’re complete bitches. Like usually the chubby girls are cool as fuck and love to make fun of people and aren’t total bitches. They even keep to themselves most of the time. But these girls even go as far as to make a scene when they go out in public. Hunny, don’t draw attention to yourself when your yelling makes you look like Chris Farley on cocaine.
Anyway, a theory of a very smart man named Uncle Joe (he’s not my Uncle Joe but I still call him Uncle Joe) holds the secret to the problem with girls such as these. Uncle Joe stated that these girls must have skinny mirrors in their houses. I think he hit the nail right on the head with that theory. You know those tall long skinny mirrors that will make anyone look like a super model? Yes, those fucking mirrors.
That must be it; these fat chicks who should be getting harpooned by desperate guys think they’re hot because they have skinny mirrors throughout their house hold. And they’re all friends with each other, which means that when they go to their friends house, they also look into the skinny mirrors. It’s a vicious cycle.
I think it’s safe to say that it’s time to outlaw the skinny mirror. It gives these large, bitchy women false hope thinking they’re hot. The ban on skinny mirrors should go into affect ASAP. Sooner or later these girls will find out that they’re not skinny, and in my opinion, the sooner, the better.
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