The Classifications of Booty

Let me explain this to you before you wonder what the hell I'm talking about. I have a regular at the bar I work at who comes in at least four times a week. He's pretty much a hilarious black dude who I can listen to all day long. He's always asking the Chinese lady giving out DVD's if she has the dirty movies with the "black bitches" on it and shit, the guy is hilarious.

Now, the other night he decided to enlighten me with the classifications of "booty". Where as white people we either just say if she has a nice ass or no ass, black people have classes of asses and each one is more hilarious than the next. Let me begin.

1) Stop Sign Booty: There is nothing to this type of booty. There is nothing there, when you get to it, it just stops. It is the worst type of booty to have. If a guy ever tells you that you have a stop sign booty it basically just means that you have no ass.

2) Little Butt: You have minimal meat there. It definitely looks better when you're naked but it's nothing special, there's just actually something there to pinch.

3) Bubble Butt: Petite, cute girls have this. It's a little butt with more substance to it. It's cute and it sticks out like a bubble.

4) Zebra Cake: This is an ass that you can do whatever you want to. You can lay on it, play with it, jiggle it, you can do all types of things to a zebra cake. It's like the first level of nice asses.

5) Jungle Booty: This is just straight up a huge ass. It's big and wide at the same time, which is something you rarely see together.

6) Doo-Doo Maker: It's a big ass that isn't sloppy. A jungle booty is a little bit sloppy at times but a doo-doo maker is big, firm and muscular. It's compared to the porn star Cherokee's ass.

7) 1979 Cadillac Booty: It's not only huge, but it's also nice. It's referred to as the 1979 Cadillac because when the chick turns, the trunk turns with her. Huge, nice, and everywhere.