A Tribute To Boston Sports Fans

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I thought a lot about how I wanted to respond to the Pats losing other than to say fuck off world and post shit about how much I fucking hate Bernard Pollard.  Like most Boston sports fans, I’ve invested a lot of time and love into the teams, and all of them seem to let me down eventually.  Yea I know, every team loses but I really believe New England takes it to another level with getting our hopes up then just shitting on our dreams with missed opportunities and last minute mistakes.  Which got me thinking about how being a Boston sports fan is a lot like being in shitty relationships.  In an attempt to make this post funny, I wrote a little poem about it. 

Once I was a virgin fan, didn’t have a team

Then I saw a Red Sox game up on my T.V. screen

I loved the way the fans would say “one day the curse will be gone”

So I decided that I too, wanted to do it with my Sox on

For years I waited for a World Series that seemed like it would never come

Then 2004 came and everyone thought a dynasty would soon be won

But sad to say that wasn’t the way, and things just went from bad to worse

Like high school sex it wasn’t that great, but the hardest love to die will always be your first,

Then I realized I needed something more mature, had to move on to something bigger and better

I said “fuck it” let’s go on spring break and see if another team can get me wetter (yea couldn’t think of a good rhyme there)

So then I said hey Celtics, let’s see what the big 3 can do

I think I can fuck around in the Garden for a year or two

It wasn’t the same as yelling “Fuck the Yankees” but I still felt like I was in heaven

Until the Lakers shut down our Championship dreams right at the end of game seven

Then Ray Allen went and joined the Miama Heat,

Another one of my loves had let me down, but my spirit couldn’t be beat

The Bruins had been on a crazy run since letting go of Lewis

I said okay hockey let’s go and fucking do this

They made me feel so dangerous every time Thomas left the zone

But even with all those risks we still managed to get a trophy home

Then one day I woke up and just like that they were gone

I thought the season would come back but the NHL just did me wrong

I’d experienced so much loss I didn’t know where to turn,

I’d been through virgin love, spring break and one night stands, I wondered when I’d ever learn.

So all this time I was looking for team I that I could give my all,

Then Bledsoe went down and Brady got his hands on that ball,

Started breaking records, seemed like we were going down in history

What with legends like Brown, Wilfork, Breschi, and don’t forget Vinatieri,

After every win Pats Nation was in an after glow

And who can forget their first time in the snow bowl?

Then 2008 was here and that Superbowl should have been gravy

Now every time I hear the word Giants I want to go punch a fucking baby

We had a dynasty for a decade I’d really thought the Pats would be the one

But now we lost to the goddamn Ravens and it looks like Gronk might be done

So even though I thought the Pats would take me all the way

Looks like we’ll have to wait another year for that big game day.

But in the end looking back I really can’t complain

Boston’s had a lot of downs but there’s also been some gains

Our teams may get our hopes up just to have them crashing down

But you won’t find more loyal fans anywhere around

So here’s to you Boston sports and everything you do

We’re the City of Champions if you don’t like fahk you

No idea if this post made any sense like it did in my head when I was wasted during the game but hopefully you all got a kick out of it anyways.