The father of the year walked into a liquor store. He gave his baby to the clerk and then disappeared for hours. When he came back shitfaced he took his baby and laid in the middle of oncoming traffic. He then heard the police sirens and hid in the bushes like a pussy and was given away by his baby crying. What was going on here? I'm still trying to figure this out. Yeah sure, just tell a complete stranger who works in a liquor store to take your kid and watch him while you go get drunk. That sounds safe. It will probably be very tough to top this one and it's only the second day of the year.
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