I Felt Like So Much Less Of a Man on Saturday Night...

Saturday night was a night where I stood there and actually questioned my manhood. Why? Well what happened was that I was the bartender for a party of 80-100 people, most of them being gay guys. Seriously, the dude who's party it was worked for GQ, brought his own cupcakes, and made a montage of pictures of himself to play on one of the TV's. He also made up names for his own drinks like the "Golden Quench". Oh, and every gay guy was wearing like a skinny bow tie. It was fairly hilarious.

Anyway, given the circumstances I was figuring gay guys in bow ties, I'm probably gonna be making an absurd amount of cranberry vodkas and sex on the beach the entire fucking night. But I couldn't have been more wrong. Every gay guy was ordering either Jack and coke or Jack and ginger ale. I slowly felt like less of a man with every drink order. Why? Because I hate whiskey. I can't handle whiskey. I think it's gross. Plus the only people I know who enjoy whiskey are like manly men with a lot of chest hair.

I never thought gay guys would enjoy drinking whiskey as much as they enjoy sucking dick. Like they wouldn't stop they just kept ordering it. Maybe it's just because the name of it is a guy and that's why gay guys love it? I don't know, I don't have the answer.

However, it did make me feel better that they were ordering shots of chocolate cake flavored vodka because men don't drink that. But when they were ordering Jack and coke, I felt like I should have been wearing a skinny bow tie and short shorts drinking a vodka cranberry. Does not liking whiskey make me less of a man? I'll let you decide. But I'm happy to say you will never find me wearing a skinny bow tie and taking shots of chocolate cake flavored vodka.