Death By Pastrami

"A south suburban Chicago woman died Thursday after injecting hot beef fat
into her face around her mouth and chin, a procedure she had apparently
self-administered multiple times before."-Huffington Post

Hahahahahahaha. What? I'm sorry I know this is messed up because a woman died, but are you shitting me? Hot beef fat injection? First off how much hot beef fat are you injecting to literally kill yourself? Could it possibly be more beef fat then a Woody Allen sandwich from Carnegie? If that's the case, I should be dead. And better yet, if I can survive a Woody Allen sandwich, maybe I should consider undergoing some home botox surgery. Lord knows I'm self conscious about my tiny little bird lips and some hot beef could certainly juice these bad boys up and put me in an upper echelon of good lookingness.

But seriously, how insane do you have to be to do this? Better yet, how insane do you have to be to do this MULTIPLE TIMES! This 60 year old woman better have had the best looking 60 year old lips on the planet. Either way, she died in vain.

P.S. Don't know if you caught that pun but it was pretty magical, died in vain/vein get it?