Being A Guy Fucking Sucks

This is something that women don't understand, but being a guy fucking sucks. Like being a man is just a terrible way to live your life. Why? Because if there is ever an inkling of you doing something smart or heart warming all your other guy friends get the inkling that just maybe you wanna suck some dick.

Like even when you do something smart like say no to that extra shot of Jameson at the bar because you know you're gonna be throwing up all over the place if you take it. Then you get your manhood questioned with all your boys saying, "What are you a fag? You don't wanna take a shot? I forgot when did you grow a fucking vagina?" And then what do you do? You take the shot and fucking throw up everywhere just to be considered more of a man. Then you get made fun of even more for throwing up. It's a lose-lose situation for you.

Even when you wanna do something like hug a puppy, you can't do that. Or admit that it's cute. You can't do that because then you have your friends right behind you screaming shit like, "Look at him, he's playing with a puppy what a fag! No man get away from me with your gay little puppy I don't wanna touch it!" Then you have to think twice before you do anything in front of them and the only thing you're telling yourself in the back of your mind whenever you're contemplating doing something is, "I'm not sucking cock."

It's just a terrible way to live your life, just years and years of suppressed emotions all because your friends think you're gay if you do something remotely smart or heart warming. Next thing you know you're at a diner and you have an aneurysm because they forgot to bring out your slice of banana cream pie for dessert. And the last thing you hear right before you black out is your friend say, "He ordered banana cream pie, what a fag! Hey, I'll give you some cream if you want you fucking fag!" Just a terrible, terrible way to live your life. That is why being a guy fucking sucks. And it's also why women will always live longer than men.