And Im going to warn some of you now... There's a high chance you might think this is thee most fucked up thing anybody's ever done to anybody so just warning you.
Before I begin let's get the back story for those who don't know...
My best friend from High School joined the military about a year and a half ago. There he met this chick and they went out. Before you know it me and the other best friend from High School get wind that they had gotten hitched.
It was literally the dumbest thing he could've ever done. This kid was the last person we thought would ever get married. When home he would run through girls (a perpetual Barney Stinson, or Glen Quagmire)
After doing his time with the force, he and her posted up in Nowhere, Ohio where they've lived with each other for about a year now.
We kind of lost all contact with him because this girl wouldn't allow him to really communicate with us (made him delete facebook, twitter, no phone)
In the ladder weeks leading up to this, we finally were getting phone calls from him saying he couldn't take it anymore and that the end was nearing and that he wanted us to come out and bring him back.
Up until the night before, this girl didn't have a clue we were coming to move him out, so there was many thoughts as to what we might get into on this trip.
We (me and the other best friend) flew out on Friday morning to Ohio and decided to document the whole weekend with the hashtag divorce weekend 2012 and here's some of the best moments that transpired...
(My friend who traveled with me, let's call him "Phil" and my recently separated friend "Jack" and lets called the girl Ashley)
Phil - "Can't wait to watch @Jack's marriage end right before me and @jimboslicee's eyes tomorrow #dw2012
Phil - "debating whether or not i should get Ashley an "I'm Sorry" Card #dw2012
Me - "All these nice destinations .. Arizona, Punta Cana, Vegas nah I'm goin to Dayton #fml #dw2012"
Phil - "Can't believe I'm going to Dayton, where the fuck is that? #dw2012"
Me - "Delaware women's basketball is in our terminal... Trying hard to spot Elena Della Donne #smokeshow #dw2012
Phil - "Jim chasing down some U Del basketball chick. #dw2013??? #dw2012
Phil - "Made it to Ohio with @jimboslicee. The reality is finally setting in. Rescuing Jack. Marriage ending. Bro down. #dw2012
Phil - "Made friends with some Patriots fans of all people. Support our cause. Do not support our teams. #dw2012 #superbowl #NY"
(on the plane I decided to make a new hashtag #AshleysPlaylist ... meaning what depressing songs might she be listening to right now since she noes we're coming to move him out)
"Jumper" third eye blind #AshleysPlaylist
"Don't Give Up On Us" Avicii #AshleysPlaylist
"I Want This Forever" Drake #AshleysPlaylist
"The Great Escape" Boys Like Girls #AshleysPlaylist
and my person favorite
"The One That Got Away" Katy Perry #AshleysPlaylist
Phil - "Let's get #dw2012 trending! How bout every1 name 1 thing they look forward to now that Joe is divorced! Lets hear it"
Phil - "Waiting for Jack. Should we take a video of this girls reaction to us? Might be the last footage of us ever alive...#Dw2012"
(Jack has now picked us up at the airport and we are on our way to a pawn shop where he is going to sell some of her things)
Me - "Ashley doesn't like me apparently cuz I deleted her off Facebook ... Hope she's not following #dw2012 and #ashleyplaylist
(We have now found out.. that she is)
Phil - "Apparently Jack's wife is home. Oh my @jesus #dw2012
Phil - "Holy shit Jack's wife found out about what's going on! Heading to her house now, I hope we make it out alive! #dw2012"
Phil - "Omg just said hi to the wife she's pissed, says she's "all right" #dw2012"
Me - "Jim you're a fucking douchebag" -- Ashley #dw2012"
Phil - "Omg she just called Jim a douchebag!!!!!! #dw2012"
Me - "how is jack taking #dw2012?"
(After A Digusting Amount of Alcohol At the University of Cincinnati, then came my epic drunk tweets that a lot of people wondering, including me "WTF am I Saying?")
me - (last logical tweet) "Strawberry Jungle Juice #dw2012"
me - "If I could be bad mad and wear sunglasses is be now #carmelo #amere ... They suck"
Me - "Live how ppl striving und penstemon take pic of athletic while now theyres know story to twff with GUNSEKED"
Me - "Way to drunk cant text anybody ... Flood job on joke"
Me - "So drunk i wanna sleep... BwThe diral bitchss"
(During All This I Get A Text From The Wife... and I responded)
Phil - #dw2012 night one ended up with one fight, one near arrest, and one too many beers! Now for our drive back to Mecca"
Me - "I think I'm just gonna delete twitter after last night ... Oh my god" #dw2012"
Me - "So what did everybody learn from #dw2012? ... i learned i need to put my facebook and twitter on private"
Phil - "@jimboslicee I learned your just jealous cuz ashley's sucking Jack's dick and youre not #dw2012''
Me - "Thrown up at both rest stops so far #dw2012problems"
Phil - "Second Rest stop...
Phil - "Jack explaining to me his position on dick pics: "I give them what they want. I'm not ashamed." Welcome back buddy #dw2012"
Well, thats about it... yes there was more, yes there were some videos too... if you're interested in those maybe we can work something out
So now that you're either scarred, think i'm a "douchebag" to, or you loved it ... that's what I did last weekend!
@jimboslicee
this is one of the most epic things ive heard bravo a salute to friends we all hope we have
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