As a guy I can tell you that we absolutely hate Valentine's Day. However, we still go out of our way to make it all about you. Why? Mainly because we don't want to hear you bitch and complain to your friends about how shitty we are as boyfriends. So what do we want on Valentine's Day since we try our best to make this day all about you?
Well first of all, we want a nice outfit for the love making that is sure to take place later in the night. Spice it up a little bit with some nice lingerie that barely fits you, or just come in with like napkins on your nipples or something. But please don't make this like every other time you have sex. It's supposed to be kind of romantic, so wear something that says, "Thank you for putting up with my shit, now I'm gonna ride your dick like I'm riding the bull at the state fair."
Next, we love food, and even though that little piece of lingerie is fantastic, get us something that's not a card. Guys hate cards. Even when it's a holiday or our birthday and there's a card with money in it, we would rather someone just hand us the cash. As for Valentine's Day, get us some food that we like. Flipz chocolate covered pretzels are probably the greatest guy Valentine's Day gift in the league, or even those Cookie Dough bites. Chocolate syrup of whipped cream during sex maybe? I don't know, now I'm just spitballing here. Or even better, if you know what your man really likes, just get it for him. It'll make him actually think you appreciate the shit he does for you.
Yeah, this list is extremely short. That's about it. Is it so much to ask for a cute little outfit and some food. Men are simple creatures, we don't like a broadway production of things. All we want is some food and some sex on Valentine's Day. Anything more than that is icing on the cake.
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