For pretty much the last two years all I have been hearing about is the complete and utter awesomeness that is the city of South Norwalk, Connecticut on Saturday nights. Well last night I finally got to experience this majestic town firsthand and I have to tell you that it didn’t disappoint.
First of all, I was taken by complete surprise when my roommates and I unexpectedly met a group of crazy bastards on the train ride there. These guys get on the train with one thing in mind and that was that they were ready to fucking rage. You don’t just pull a bottle of gin out of your jacket on a train without having pussy and partying on your mind. The asshole ticket checker guy even had to tell them to tone it down. So of course they just verbally abused him right after that, which was also awesome.
Then we get into the bar known as Black Bear. This place was all sorts of fucking awesome. Live band just shredding it on stage, drunk girls everywhere, my roommates, teammates and the crazy bastards from the train; the crew that was there was insane. The one negative I will say is that one of the bartenders was a total dickhead and I would’ve loved to punch him in his face. Also, the amount of sloppy drunk people making out all over the place was incredible. Nothing beats watching sloppy drunk people make out on the dance floor like they’re the only two people at the fucking bar; that shit is hilarious.
Being completely hammered the rest of the bar was a blur. However, coming home on the train was another story in itself. I had to talk one of the crazy bastards into going harpooning because sometimes to get a nut off you have to go harpooning for a grenade or two. Then these fucking guys tried to pull out a harmonica and start fucking singing on the train. One dude looked homeless and the other dude looked like he just came straight from a quidditch match with Harry Potter. The abuse shouted out at those two assholes was hilarious. Added on top of that was two seats behind me some dude just blowing chunks all over the place stinking up the train. Obviously, that dude had an awesome night as well.
To end this I will say that if you definitely want a good time head to South Norwalk for the night. If you love getting hammered, live music and tons of women this is definitely the place for you. If you don’t like any of those things then you’re probably gay or have no idea of what fun is. So it’s time for Bridgeport to move over because South Norwalk has taken over as the new City Of Dreams.
Good evening fine delegate of the comedic genius that is your blog. So i found myself this morning trapped in a bit of a quandary of a lack of a hysterical stimulus in my life, and just as life and more importantly news blogs seemed to be at their whits end compiled under the useless nonsense of the Justins Biebers and Lindsay Lohans of the world, i find this article. A heart wrenching dialouge of real life twists and turns that tugs at the sheer heart of what it means to truly be an Ameican college student. It under lines the crucial facts and even provides an imagery i thought only Shakespeare himself could articulate. I would like to quote if i could a excerpt from your mastery of writing i found to be most intriguing, "One dude looked homeless and the other dude looked like he just came straight from a quidditch match with Harry Potter.", Pure poetry my friend, pure poetry. The mastery of linguistics you have provided the readers of this blog with falls nothing short of a Pulitzer Prize winning article. When there is so much wrong with society today it takes a true man to stand up and call it out for everyone to see, thats exactly what Christina Aguilera needs, she needs someone to walk right up to her face and go, hey, hey yeah you, i dont know what you think your doing but just stop just stop, hearing you sing during the Super Bowl was pretty much offensive to all 5 senses, my dog through himself into oncoming traffic after you messed those words up, i tasted the shame coming out of your mouth that was your singing, oh oh oh and dont even get me started on the Black Eyes Pee You's, one of the most disapointing half time shows ive ever seen and im only 1, the speakers were set to a roaring whisper, the right side of the V in love didnt light up and quite frankly i dont see how anyone thought singing where is the love was an appropriate song for the Super Bowl. Look at me telling you how to blog, ha yeah right, thats like trying to explain to God how to kill your only son, like hello he's been there done that. So anyway fantastic article cant wait to read another one. Your Bestest Fan - Stewie
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