I have a bunch of guy friends who like to complain about how they haven’t gotten any in a while and I’m actually sick of hearing about it. So here is my list of reasons that guys haven’t been laid in their recent memory.
Stop playing this hard to get bullshit: Enough with the whole story about how you got this girls number but you’re waiting to text her because you don’t want to look like a bitch. Please shut the fuck up with that bullshit. She is not going to text you first just because you two exchanged numbers. The only reason she actually took your number is so she knows who it is when you finally do text or call. So stop with the whole theory on making her sweat it out because realistically, if you don’t call; she’ll probably give her number to someone else next weekend that will.
Even if you’re not a nice guy, at least pretend for 5 minutes: Listen, if you’re an asshole you need to at least put on the impression that you can have your nice tendencies. The girl can probably read that you’re an asshole right away anyway, but they’ll still accept you being an asshole if you show some signs that you can potentially be a nice guy. For some weird reason women view this as a perfect combination because they’re big into trying to make us their bitch. Whether you’re into this or not, it’ll probably at least get you a number.
Get a fucking haircut: Some dudes can pull the shaggy, long hair look off. But those dudes are the exception, not the rule. You should know whether or not you can pull off the long hair look, and if you can’t then cut your fucking hair. Also, most guys with the long hair or shaggy look have girlfriends who don’t really give a fuck about their hair because they’ve been together for a while.
Shave that hideous beard: Once again, there are few guys who can pull off beards but that is because they keep it looking fresh and trimmed. Girls do no like the scruffy out of control facial hair that is all over the place. One, because it looks disgusting and two because they don’t want to feel like they’re making out with a fucking grizzly bear.
When you’re out, don’t stand there and sulk: When you go out it is very important that you do not stand around sulking like someone just shot your puppy. Girls are attracted to guys that they get a good vibe from. Confidence is probably the most attractive trait to a girl so at least fucking look like you have some sort of swag or your chances of getting any ass will go totally out the window.
I’m not promising you guys that you’ll get laid by listening to me, mainly because I don’t make promises. But I am telling you that you have a much better chance of ending your dry spell by listening to these tips. If you think I’m bullshitting you that’s fine, just don’t say I didn’t try to help you out when you’re laying in bed with your laptop and hand lotion looking for shit to get off to on the internet.
No comments:
Post a Comment