The List

Guys, you have all done it, you have all judged people as soon a you have seen them. Especially with girls, actually mostly with girls you have formed an opinion extremely quickly. I'm here to tell you about a bullet proof format I have devised in regards to females you are scoping out and potentially trying to wife up and/or bang. I call this one....The List. The list is a bunch of attributes a female possesses that ensure she is bad news, nothing but trouble, and a two bit no good blood sucking whore. A girl so disgusting, so evil, so vile, that I wouldn't fuck her with Steve's dick, or Slothy's for that matter. Here's how the list plays out in no particular order. Note that if a girl possesses only one or two of these qualities on The List she may be okay, but please proceed with caution fellas.

1. If she has over 1500 Facebook friends - I am pretty lenient with this one considering Facebook has been around for a while now and people go away to college and are on various sports team. No normal good souled female has over 1500 friends, unless she's riding some serious pole. Do yourself a favor and don't bother finding out.

2. If she wears hightop Jordan's and Nike dunks - A tiny bit lenient with this one as well considering if she's athletic and stuff. No self respecting girl should wear these type of shoes in a public, friendly atmosphere. These shoes are for NBA players and yes I'd like to not think of you as a 6 foot 7 African American man, thanks. Flip flops, converses, shox, and airmaxes will suffice. Do yourself a favor guys and just stay away.

3. If she wears hoop earrings bigger than her ears - This one includes the earrings with her name in the middle. Not much of an explanation needed here boys, she is a bad mamajama if she's wearing earrings like this. She is the type of girl who screams loud, gets annoyed when you watch the game, and acts like Janet Jackson 8 years ago at the Super Bowl. I show no leniency on this one. Stay....away, if you see these earrings, run, think with your brain instead of your dick.

4. If she wears pajama pants in public - Yes this includes the ones with the penguin designs on them. What Girl who has any respect for herself wears pajamas out in public. Get some real clothes and then come talk to me, actually no wait...don't. If you have the audacity to wear pajamas in public dont you dare even look at me. Go outside and have your cigarette and talk about mob wives.

There it is...The List, there will be more additions as we move along in this life, feel free to add any attribute you feel ruins a females image for you.