You go to a fancy place in Manhattan or Atlantic City and you think you're hot shit because you bought a bottle of Grey Goose. First off, Grey Goose is a step above the house vodka. If you don't believe me, our very own fearless leader Steve the Hammer is a graduate of Bartending school and a master in spirits and mixology. Secondly, you spend $400 on it.
Now it's pretty fucking obvious that's a rip off. Bottle of goose goes for like $60 max at a liquor store. Now you spend $400 on it. If a liquor store sells it for $60, that means wholesale the bottle is worth about $40. Congratulations jerkoff, you just gave that place a 1,000% profit margin on a bottle of shitty vodka. Atta boy!! Do yourself a favor, hire an accountant because you're financial skills are as good as your taste in liquor.
Now my favorite part about a bottle. For kids my age, early 20's we really can't afford it on our own. So we split it, $400 split 5 ways, not bad $80 each. Each for like a drink and a half. Fuck that!! Next time someone asks me to split a bottle with them, I will just walk away. You have to learn the lesson for yourself.
Not only are you overpaying and begging for more like little poor Oliver Twist, you either have to drink it straight (no thank you, vodka straight tastes like disinfectant) or mix it with OJ or Cranberry. Screwdrivers, not a fan. Cranberry and vodka is a borderline female drink.
If you buy a bottle you're an idiot. If you're looking for me, I'll be at the bar drinking some beer. How about this factoid. If I buy 10 beers at $8 each, I spend $80. I get to drink 10 beers for the same price you drank ONE cranberry and vodka. I'd say its pretty damn clear I won!
No comments:
Post a Comment