"Sarah Says" Does She Want To Have Sex With You?

Hey, fellas! That’s right, it’s time for your weekly dose of estrogen and tits from yours truly. As I am recently single, I have found myself short on Talk of the Town quality material. So The Hammer asked me, “How long does it take women to figure out if they’d have sex with a guy?” This is a tricky question, so I’ll get into it in sections for you. It’s also a question that makes me blush a bit, so I’m drinking a giant gin and tonic while I write this. Consider yourself warned – your writer is sloshed and not opposed to foul language.

When You’re Both Drunk (5 – 30 minutes)

Since Hammer wants me to give you all the reasons, I’ll be straight with you. Sometimes she’s really drunk, is dancing with you or something of an equally sexual nature and decides she wants it. And since you’re both conveniently already entwined and your decision-making skills are impaired, she’ll decide if she wants to go for it.

Building a Relationship (1 – 5 days)

I’ll be upfront here (and I feel sort of guilty saying this because I never graduated from the ugly duckling stage of life, despite every reassurance) but I don’t think I’ve ever gone on a date with a guy I’m not attracted to. This does not mean that I immediately want to get in your pants. When building a relationship, your personality gets sort of important.  (Read: It’s incredibly important.) I’ve gone out with fairly attractive men whose personalities are a huge turn off.  If you’re a douche on a date, a girl probably won’t want to hit that. (But who knows? Women are fickle creatures.) When you’re building a relationship, a guy’s personality determines his fuckability. Remember that, boys.

The Moment of Truth (Indefinite)

I get along pretty well with guys. I’d like to think this is because we’re hilarious and have common interests without sexual tension. But if the classic film When Harry Met Sally is correct, men and women can’t just be friends. I disagree, they definitely can be. But sometimes Billy Crystal is right and they can’t be. Let’s take an example here. You’re talking to a female friend and say something sweet or kind or supportive that causes all sorts of funny things to happen, and then your friend decides to kiss you. Go with it guys. Allow her to use you for your body. Just make sure you can still be friends in the morning.

The Moment She Sees You (.00001 Seconds)

Sometimes, it takes about four seconds for a girl to decide if she wants to fuck you. This doesn’t have to have a specific location – it can happen at a club on a Sunday night,  it can happen in the library, it can happen in an 8 am class, it can happen when you look up from your cubicle. Let’s use an example. Look at Hammer. Pretty sure there’s no girl in the world that hasn’t seen Hammer in class, looked him up and down and said, “Yeah, I’d hit that.” We’ve all been there, girls. We’re starting a support group for it.

Sarah is the creator of Not the It Girls. You can contact her at sarah@nottheitgirls.com.