Two Things I Never Want To Talk About...Politics and Religion

It's that time of the year again where everyone and their mother is a fucking political analyst. These are the people who rarely give a fuck and then suddenly in September of an election year they act like they've been tuned into CNN every day. And then I love when they mention it to me. You know why? Because not only do I not give a fuck, I don't give a flying fuck.

I have a very simple rule when I go out in public. My rule is don't talk politics, and don't talk religion and everybody's happy. Those are the only two things you could possibly start a fight over unless you literally walk up to someone and tell them that you fucked their mother and took a piss on their girlfriend afterwards. I know all you "experts" and "die hards" are sitting there saying that these should be things I care about but here's why I don't care.

I don't care about politics because politics is complete bullshit. Every side tells you what you wanna hear and then when they get into office they don't do cock. Also, they spend ninety percent of their time just bashing the other candidate and the other party instead of actually sticking to the issues. And I honestly don't particularly care about the issues. We're all gonna die one day anyway, I have other shit to worry about.

Then there's religion. This I really don't care about. The main cause of war in the world is because of religion. It's all fucking bullshit. You can't tell me I'm not a good person because I don't follow a fucking book or a little fucking statue of a fat, bald guy. Once again, life's too short and I have other shit I would rather worry about.

Maybe I'm the crazy one here but at least I don't go around pretending like I care about these things when I don't. Plus if I pretended to care, the quicker you would realize I have no clue what I'm talking about. So when you're around me, don't talk politics and don't talk religion. You know why? Because I don't care, and you shouldn't care that much either.