Last night I worked a holiday party and apparently most of the fat black women in NYC work for the board of health. They were there in full force. And when I say full force I mean like backing that ass up at 6:30 at night. And they don't give a shit if you love them or hate them. They're still gonna party like they're the hottest looking things in the room.
As for last night, besides the fact that they were backing it up like they were in a club on a Saturday night, it escalated into numerous dance offs. So let me explain to you what the dance offs were like. It was one fat black woman against one little scrawny gay guy in what appeared to be a best of 5 series. Long story short, the fat black women pulled out the three game sweep, which was very embarrassing for the gay guys. And this was with bosses and co workers circled up like you were watching Step Up.
Lastly, after being all hopped up on cheap liquor and cheap wine the whole night they decided it was time to start a conga line. Yes, from the front of the bar to the back of the bar and all the way back around these women started a serious conga line. I had never seen anything like it. If work is anything like this holiday party was I need a job there. It didn't stop, I saw a 45 year old fat black woman bent over like grinding on some dude, it was weird. This shit got absurd. When a fat black woman over the age of 30 is on her hands with her ass in the air, shit just got real.
All in all, it was an experience you should go through at least once in your lifetime. Partying with fat black women isn't easy, but if you're looking to go harpooning you'll definitely get laid. Just be careful they don't attempt to sit on your face. You'll be dead within fifteen seconds. Because not only can you not party with fat black women, you can't hang in bed with them either.
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