I Just Knew My Day was Going to Suck

You know how I knew my day was going to suck? Was it waking up, feeling like absolute dog shit because I ate so poorly this holiday week? No. Didn't help. Was it not taking my morning shit? No. You know what it was?

It was this fucking thing that was sitting in my shoe waiting to stab through my foot. I felt like Marv from Home Alone stepping on the nail. Didn't need a coffee this morning, this woke me right up. Probably need a tetnis shot now. Pretty cool screw...just kidding, you're a loser screw! Nobody likes you and you're adopted, your parents don't even love you.