The Rockefeller Center Christmas Tree

 

This is a topic that really gets people going. The talk about going to see the Rockefeller Center Christmas tree, which is basically just a larger version of a tree you have in your house. If you have a girlfriend, you HAVE TO go see the tree. When she asks you if you want to go see the tree she's really asking you whether or not you want to have sex for the next three weeks. Plus it's not too bad if you're going with just the two of you. You basically have to bully your way through the crowd, get the standard tree pic, and get the fuck out of there. There's really nothing else to see. 

Now, the single girls who have the obsession with going to see the tree need their fucking heads examined. Why do you want to go see the tree if you're a single chick? You're just gonna put yourself in a miserable mood by watching all the couples take their fucking pictures by the tree and it's just gonna add to your bitchiness. You'll play it off like "you don't need a man" but deep inside we all know you're wishing you had a guy to take a picture with. Word of advice: stop giving it up on the first date and you might get a boyfriend at some point. 

See I went with my girlfriend the other night and decided to have a little fun. You obviously need someone else to take the picture for you. Since my girlfriend knows how much of a sick bastard I am (obviously, since she agreed to date me) I said we're not just asking anyone for a picture. We are asking a group of girls who are there by themselves just so they can die inside a little bit when that flash goes off. We did, and it was epic. I saw the anger deep inside as I gave the fake smile and fake thank you for taking the picture. I'm pretty sure that girl and her friends cried the entire way home and then face fucked a gallon of ice cream together while watching Crazy, Stupid Love.

As for the men out there, you have no reason to go see the tree if you don't have a girlfriend. The entire crowd of people are just a bunch of assholes who stand there and have no idea where they're going. And it's just going to make you pissed off when you're continually elbowed in the kidney by some foreigner who's visiting his step father that gave him away when he was two. And if you hate people obsessed with Christmas it just isn't the place for you. 

What's the real obsession with the tree? I don't know. It's just kind of there. You can get the same exact thing in your house. It's nothing special, it's a tree with lights and a fucking thing on top. It's just a really big decorated tree. There is nothing to be overly excited about.