Dress Code – How Men’s Fashion Affects Your Life
Last weekend, I was at the local bar having a nice,
delicious pint of Shipyard Pumpkinhead Ale, just minding my own business. I
wasn’t dressed up, I had no intention of picking up men, but I didn’t see any
harm in looking. But, much to my surprise, men came to me. (Serves me right for
going to the bar by myself.) I discovered then that how these men dressed
immediately decided my interest. So, gentleman, here’s how to look your best to
win those ladies’ hearts.
Shave
If you have a beard, trim that Grizzly Adams shit. If you
don’t have a beard or are completely incapable of growing one, keep your face
clean. Stubble can be sexy but the In Between or Random Spots of Facial Hair
Growth are huge turn offs.
Shirts That Fit You
Properly
It’s so easy to run into a store and grab whatever t-shirts
or button downs you see without trying them on. Take a few minutes and do just
that. An ill-fitting shirt gives the image of laziness, even if you aren’t
lazy. It just looks sloppy and sloppiness is not attractive.
Pull Your Goddamn
Pants Up
This is pretty self-explanatory. If I’m interested in seeing
what kind of underwear you’re wearing, I’d take you home first. Or, you know,
date you for a prolonged period of time then take you home. Probably the
latter.
Snazzy Shoes
Don’t wear your nasty, stinky sneakers to the bar. Do you
really not have at least a clean, decent pair of sneakers to wear? Oh, you
don’t? Then go get some.
Clean Up Nice
I’ve been told that I “Clean Up Nice” and I’ve certainly
told other people that. Don’t roll into the bar in old jeans and a t-shirt.
Clean yourself up a little bit. Don’t go overboard with a shirt and tie, but at
least throw on something that lets the ladies know that you didn’t roll out of
bed.
Classy boys get the girl. At least this girl. And above all,
don’t tan, don’t spike your hair and don’t wear “Jersey Shore” style t-shirts.
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