The Halloween Costume Countdown

In case you're wondering who this awesome little kid is, it's me.  That's right fuckers, I had a handmade Batman costume and rocked it like the bad-ass 5 year old I was, and have continued to rock the superhero costumes every year since.  So imagine my dismay when every Halloween I look like comic-cons very own advertisement while chicks all around me look like the inside of a 14 year old boys imagination.  In honor of this dedication to the ever lasting pursuit of dressing like a stripper without getting called out for it, I present to you the 10 most unoriginal and interesting Halloween costumes... READ THE #1!!! IT'S AMAZING.

Unoriginal

10. Army girls/guys- As much as I'm sure our fine men and women in uniform appreciate picutres that show a little skin, let's get real people.  Women in the army don't run around in sports bras and army guys don't look like they got deployed from the Jersey Shore.

9. Priest with a boner- Why I still see one of these every year is beyond me.  It's a priest...with a boner....the irony is only lost on the idiotic. This costume was funny the first year it came out. In 1978. 

8. "I don't care about Halloween" t-shirt- Again, I see this a lot.  Guy wears a white t-shirt to a party saying "Ghost" or "costume not found."  Could it be any more obvious you don't give a shit about Halloween? For people like me that save more for their Halloween costumes than they do for Christmas presents, I find this offensive, no candy for you. 

7.  Pimp- There's one every year, and it's always a skinny white guy.  The scariest part of this costume is that like the girl who truly believes she isn't a slut on Halloween, the guys who tend to dress up as pimps usually blast DMX out of their Hondas and are delusional in thinking they have game. 

6. Bunny/ cat/ cheetah-Straight outta mean girls: "The hard core girls just wear lingerie and some form of animal ears."  Just because it's the one night a year you can dress like a slut doesn't mean you can just wear a thong with band-aid on you tattas because you have cat ears on (yes, I saw that this year, and when I asked what she was she looked at me like I was stupid). 

Interesting

5. Bloody Tampon- Cover yourself in toilet paper then dump ketchup on your head? If you've got the balls to do this, you're awesome.  You might smell like shit all night, but just try not to laugh when you see a human tampon walking around a party.

4. Dexter- this was a popular one this year.  Took me a while to figure out why there were about 5 guys in green shirts with black gloves until I saw a chick wrapped completely in plastic and fake blood next to one guy.  Dexter and his murder victims, creepy but original.

3. Ted- I don't care if it's store bought, any guy that dishes out $90 to buy the Ted costume is the shit in my book.  Especially if you walk around quoting the movie all night.  Whoever was dressed as Ted in downtown Boston on Saturday night, if you remember a drunken Catwoman hugging you, it was me and I think I love you.  

2. Kissing booth- Some guy walking around with a cardboard box and a sign that says "Kisses: one shot."  Usually you can only get away with this at a bachelor party, but this dude figure out how to get this once a year.  Hats off to you sir.  

ANDDDDDDDD......

1.   SURPRISE! There is no #1! That's because Halloween isn't officially over yet and I want to give all you kiddies a chance to get your claim to fame on Talk Of The Town.  So send your funny costumes ideas and pictures to slata@talkofthetown.me  (winner gets a special Halloween surprise).