The Zumba Hooker

Lock your doors, hide ya husbands, the zumba hooker is on the loose! I needed to write this story because this shit just makes me laugh.  For those of you that don't know, miss Alex Wright of Kennybunk (yes, THAT Kennybunk) has been running a prostitution ring out of her Zumba studio in Maine.  "Ring" in this story is loosely defined as one chick and like 100 dudes.  After getting caught she added her own little happy ending to the investigation by providing the names and addresses of ALL of her clients.  And in a twist that should shock NO ONE, there are several prominent public figures and community leaders on that list.

For some reason, this story is bugging the shit out of me.  For one thing, why are we still persecuting what people do with their dicks and vaginas in 2012?  What is so bad about getting paid for sex? All you fuckers reading this blog give it away for free every weekend! Saying prostitution is bad is like saying someone who lost their job should volunteer instead of looking for real work, shit ain't free kids.  And don't give me that crap about it being sacred, there's nothing sacred about doing the drunken dance with your buddy at 3am. Yea, yea, it's illegal but only because some old farts say it is.

 Ok so the whole men cheating on their wives thing, that is bad.  I think they deserve everything that comes with their names being out n the open for people to see what scumbags those lying assholes are.  But one of the main reasons this story is ridiculous is that a majority of news sites keep alluding to this women as the "Zumba Hooker." As if she's some serial killer luring innocent men into her studio to have sex with them.  Yea, ok ABC news.  So you're telling me everyone was shocked that this small suburban town had a prostitution ring right in their own backyard?  If you've never been to Kennybunk or Kennybunkport let me paint of picture of the towns for you.  It's one of the richest places in America, like the motherland for a Stepford wife convention.  These are the types of people that actually buy modern art, not just look at it when they go to Europe and shit.  So no, the surprise here is not that there was a prostitution ring, it's that no one found it sooner.