I have to say one thing before I start, this dude dresses the part really well of a guy who blindfolded himself and tied himself to a tree with his junk hanging out waiting for some anonymous sex. Total not bro move right here. I'm pretty sure you couldn't get Helen Keller to anonymously have sex with you looking like that. You haven't cut your hair in like fifty years, the salt and pepper goatee just isn't working for you, and if clearly looks like you've molested children at numerous points throughout your life. But I will say this, it was a valiant effort on your part just trying to skip the conversation and just jump right into the having sex part. Plus in order to get anonymous sex from this stunt you would need to have a baby's arm holding an apple down there, but clearly you're hung like a light switch. Nice try you fucking creep.
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