What Makes A Guy Undateable?

Mama's Boy: It's cute when a guy loves his mom or has sisters so he knows how to treat a lady. It's not cute when he is practically still sucking on his Mom's nipple because without her to feed him, he would die.  These guys also suck to date because no matter what you do, his Mom will be convinced you are the demon slut of the earth trying to rip her precious baby away from her.  If he doesn't cook for himself, do his own laundry, or still calls his mom to figure out what color tie goes with a shirt, run away because you will be dating a man child. 

Being a Bro: These guys are easy to spot.  Usually have a Facebook profile picture where they are taking a picture of themselves shirtless in front of a mirror.  Guys, this is the equivalent to the emo-girl-takes-a-picture-above-her-head-in-front-of-a-mirror look.  They think they have swag, but everything from their gelled spiky hair to their flamboyantly tight pink shirt screams toolbag. 

Cheap: I'm all for equality and all that shit.  I don't think it's fair when a guy pays for everything.  Women want to be equal in the work force, paying for stuff comes with that.  But let's be real, guys can still be chivalrous the first few times.  If you go out with a guy and he wants to split the check on the first date, he obviously isn't trying to impress you, or he isn't trying to get into your pants.  In either case, you don't want him.  He asks for for $4 for your coffee and you think he's gonna spring for flowers on your anniversary? Riiighttt
(Hint: check out how he tips the bartender.  Bros are cheap tippers). 

Too Feminine: Do we want you to be sensitive? Yes.  Do we want to listen to you whining like a little bitch all the time? No.  Guys, it's no secret, women like bad boys.  We want you to be rough and tough and like playing in the mud.  But women like it when guys are bad boys to everyone else, but nice to only us.  it makes us feel like we tamed the wild beast, grrr.  If you're a bitch all the time, everyone assumes you're both pussies. 

Can't do man-stuff: It's great when you get a guy that can cook and sew and all that stuff, but that doesn't let you off the hook when it comes to fixing stuff.  Two words: cars and construction.  You need to have talent in one or both of those areas.  If you can't fix my leaky faucet or change my oil, you are literally useless.  If I have to get out my tool belt (yes several of my girlfriends and i have them) and show you how to hang a shelf, I'd rather play with the hammer than you.