If You're Drinking At A Diner, You Have Done Something Terribly Wrong With Your Life...

 

Being at the diner late at night gives you the luxury to see assholes galore as well as listen in on what these assholes are actually saying and ordering for that matter. If you love dumb women and they seem like they're entertaining to you, than a diner is actually a great place to go explore. 

Alright so these two girls walk into the diner. Both of them looked like their skin was about to turn into leather that's how tan they were. One was an exact replica of Snooki and the other one was an exact replica of a dumb guidette who also happens to be delirious to the world. Picture these two girls walking into a diner wearing "Get Naked" tank tops. Yeah, shit just got weird. 

They sit down and he waiter comes over to ask them what they wanted to drink. They order a Malibu Bay Breeze and a Vodka Bay Breeze. First of all, you're at a diner at midnight on a Wednesday, what the fuck is the need to order cocktails? Second of all, it's the middle of February, who the fuck drinks bay breeze's in the middle of February? Right, because you like the taste because it tastes like candy and two of them gets you shitfaced. By the way, if diner drinking was cool, that dirty looking homeless guy with the beard wouldn't be able to use his only four dollars on a gin and tonic four tables away from you. 

And then there was actually listening to them speak. "Oh my gawd, when I come hea with Gina we sit hea and fight ova the pickles and the cole slaw because like we like them so much." It was exactly at that point where I wanted to jam an ice pick through my retina. You're talking about how you and your fucking dumb girl friend come to a diner and fight over the pickles and the cole slaw. How sad is your life that this is a main topic of conversation? 

Am I just being ridiculous? I know I was also at the diner at that time also, but I was eating and not drinking cocktails while talking about how me and my friend fight over pickles and cole slaw. All I'm saying is that if you're drinking at a diner at any point in your life, you have reached a new low. It's almost like a parent getting hammered at a Chuck E. Cheese. Except that the parents children have probably driven them to drink while you're just diner drinking because you think it makes you look cool.