Guys are always talking shit about how women are so hard to figure out, how we don't know what we want, that we're bipolar…the list goes on and on. I used to agree with that until I sat down started thinking: guys, what the FUCK do you want? Seriously, guys are just as confusing, if not more so, than women. Now I know what everyone is thinking. Men are simple: they want food and sex. Well that's true, but wrapped up in that simplicity is the complete mindfuck games that guys are constantly playing with women. Well I'm here to say, I'm on to you fuckers…
All men talk about is how they want a sexy chick. But what happens when a hot girl in a tight ass outfit walks in to a bar? Do guys think "oh that girl looks nice, I should introduce myself and ask her out to dinner"? Hell no, you start thinking about all the different things she can do to your penis. And god forbid that hot girl give any indication that she has a sex drive. Guys will think I'd hit that, because she's probably a slut. Are you ever going to take the hot girl seriously as a girlfriend? No, you're just going to imagine her sucking on your balls.
Ok, so here comes the infamous argument "I want a chick that's sexy, but in a girl next door kind of way." Oh ok, so you actually WANT us to have split personalities? Got it. Now this is where women try to do the whole girl-next-door thing. We bake you cookies, take your mom out to lunch, all that girlfriend shit. Here we're trying to pull off the Jennifer Aniston routine and be wholesome and innocent, but still have some sex appeal. But what happens when we do that? Some Angelina Jolie hooker type walks by and suddenly you want this bitch's cookies instead.
So here we have the two types of women in the world: The girls you take home to meet your mom, and the ones you cheat on that girl with. Meanwhile we're stuck here trying to figure out which one we are, how we can act like the other type, and how we can just get a dude to take us seriously and still get laid. And guys wonder why we all seem fucking crazy.
All men talk about is how they want a sexy chick. But what happens when a hot girl in a tight ass outfit walks in to a bar? Do guys think "oh that girl looks nice, I should introduce myself and ask her out to dinner"? Hell no, you start thinking about all the different things she can do to your penis. And god forbid that hot girl give any indication that she has a sex drive. Guys will think I'd hit that, because she's probably a slut. Are you ever going to take the hot girl seriously as a girlfriend? No, you're just going to imagine her sucking on your balls.
Ok, so here comes the infamous argument "I want a chick that's sexy, but in a girl next door kind of way." Oh ok, so you actually WANT us to have split personalities? Got it. Now this is where women try to do the whole girl-next-door thing. We bake you cookies, take your mom out to lunch, all that girlfriend shit. Here we're trying to pull off the Jennifer Aniston routine and be wholesome and innocent, but still have some sex appeal. But what happens when we do that? Some Angelina Jolie hooker type walks by and suddenly you want this bitch's cookies instead.
So here we have the two types of women in the world: The girls you take home to meet your mom, and the ones you cheat on that girl with. Meanwhile we're stuck here trying to figure out which one we are, how we can act like the other type, and how we can just get a dude to take us seriously and still get laid. And guys wonder why we all seem fucking crazy.
I don't think it's that complicated. I want a girl who can cook and turn heads at the bar. All I ask in return is that she knows who she's coming home with at night: Me. And you don't have to like my parents. I don't like them either.
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