Saturday, February 11, 2012

Drunk Story Saturday's: Don't Bring Shovel Girl

 
Drunk Story from Danny (Rutgers) 

Me and my two best friends went down to Myrtle Beach for four days right before our senior year of college. It was basically a preview of what our senior year was gonna be like except for the fact that we were down south and staying in a really nice condo. So we go to the beach one day on a mission looking for girls. It was early in the week, we needed to set the tone early and find some girls who we could chill with for the entire time we were there. At the beach we spotted our targets in the water, and we called in the closer. We would use a tennis ball as our Mariano Rivera. 

The plan was simple. One of us keep going further out, while having a catch with the other two. Basically, we were triangulating the women with our tennis ball catch. All one of us had to do was make some sort of comment, and we knew we were in. One of our friends used the line, "If he hits you, it's not my fault." Boom, got them. It was like fishing with dynamite. We were talking to these girls at the beach the entire day. But there was one problem, there were three of us and four of them. And their number four was brutal. She looked like she got hit in the face with a shovel. We decided that we would just get one of their numbers and then deal with shovel girl later on. 

We met them out at a bar later that night and we were dancing with them, sloppily making out with them, and having a good time. Then once we asked if they would like to come back to the condo with us, two said yes, two said no. It was weird. They didn't end up coming back and my friend was texting one of the girls who was giving all these excuses as to why they weren't coming back all while one of the other girls is texting my other friend telling him she wants to come by. It was fucking weird. Well, my friend let's call him Bobby, had enough of this business, grabbed the phone from my friend let's call him John, and decided it was time to burn some bridges.  

Bobby takes the phone and writes back, "Alright, then youse ain't getting fucked tonight. If you're trying to get fucked then call us and leave shovel girl at home unless she's down for a three way." Being absolutely flabbergasted by this text, the girl responded with, "Ok". Needless to say, we didn't see or hear from them for the remainder of that trip. The only thing I have wondered to this day is if they knew which one of them was shovel girl.

Now this is absolutely priceless. And my guess would be no, they probably all think they're shovel girl because they're all insecure. That's just what I think though. 

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