A Late Night Snack On The West Side Highway

 

Sometimes there are just stories that need to be shared with the world, and I feel like this is one of those stories. Why? Because it was something that you probably would never think is fathomable. Not that people have never done this or that this is unheard of, it's just the location of where this was happening made for a great story. 

It's Friday night and I just get out of work. I'm with two of my best friends and B Slata's sister. We are driving along the west side highway. Now, for those of you who don't know, the west side highway is like a three lane street with lights. It's more of a boulevard than an actual highway. Now, to get to the other side of the highway we almost died. My boy was driving down a side street thinking he was gonna cross to the other side of the highway, but it turns out there was a divider there. We got about three feet from the divider before he turned. As he was driving I didn't know if it was gonna be good or bad, but I knew something cool was about to happen. He pulled a right hand turn on the dot at about 70mph, through a light and then whipped an illegal U-turn to get to the other side of the highway. 

Now is where the story gets good. There are only three lanes on this thing and no shoulder to pull over. There's a red light and we're in the middle lane. We look to the left and there is a car just sitting there. No one in the driver's seat, and the passenger's seat all the way down towards the back. We don't see anyone so we're wondering what the fuck is going on here. Then we see the top of a woman's head in the back seat. It was clear now, there was a dude going down on her. So yes, there is now a dude going down on some chick, while he has his hazards on in the left lane of a highway at 3:30 in the morning. Now, every single person in the car is looking. Me being the asshole that I am, is trying to to get a video of this for the blog. As I'm trying to get the video, I guess the chick saw everyone in the car looking and this dudes head just pops up in the front seat faster than a whack a mole at the arcade. Through all this, the light is still red and now we're caught with this guy staring at us like he's about to pull out a gun. 

Finally, the light turns and we book it never actually stopping to think what had just happened. What would make a man stop his car in the middle of a live highway, put his hazards on and start going down on a girl? I mean if we're talking about going down on Kate Upton and this is your only chance, then yes, by all means I'm doing it. But if it's just your run of the mill 6 on the scale of 1 to 10, then no. Like I'm not going out of my way for stale cracker jacks. I'll eat the stale cracker jacks, but I'm not going the extra mile for them. I don't know what this guy's deal was. But we caught in the act a late night snack on the west side highway. 

Sidenote: Realistically, how hot does a girl have to be for you to stop everything you're doing, put your car in park on a highway, and just start going to town on her?