What the fuck is this? This my friends is what they call the Elf on the Shelf. What the fuck does it do exactly? It doesn't actually do anything. It's a scam to lie to your kids to get them to be good around Christmas time. The whole purpose of this fucking thing is to tell your kids that this little dumb doll flies around your house watching you and every night the parents move it to a new location. How dumb are our children that they believe something like this? This is the biggest marketing sham on the planet. Seriously, this might be a bigger scam than Bernie Madoff pulled. Like you actually have parents convinced that their kids are gonna be good because this stupid fucking toy elf is gonna be "flying" around their house. This is just America getting softer than baby shit. Lying to our children, telling them that this little gay elf is watching them, and not letting them know right off the bat that there's no Santa Clause. What's next? The fucking Easter Bunny hopping around your kitchen hiding eggs? We wonder why China beats us in every aspect of brains, and it's because of shit like this fucking Elf on the Shelf.
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