When You Can't Tell If She's Hot...

Fella's we've all had this problem before. You're drinking, you know that you're smashed and you're talking to this girl anyway hoping she is anywhere near the level of drunk that you are. You are also hoping that you're putting together coherent sentences and not sounding like a complete jackass. The great ones can do this with ease. But not even the great ones can figure out if this girl is actually hot.

The first thing you have to remember is that you can't trust anyone; especially your dickhead friends. Yes, your friends are dicks and yes they will be fucking you the entire time you're blackout and making a fool of yourself at the bar. What this means is that you do not by any means ask them what they think of the girl you're talking to if you can't figure out whether or not this bitch is hot. The main reason for this is because if she's not hot, they're gonna tell you to do it and then make fun of you for destroying the fat, ugly chick.

Secondly, you just have to pick one and decide. Look at it this way, either way you're gonna be getting looks as you walk out of the bar. Either because everyone is going to be nodding and giving you a "nicely done" smile if she's hot or they'll be looking at you staring in digust because she's that gross. Honestly, it comes down to a coin flip. Sometimes you wake up and you hit the jackpot and other times you wake up and you would've rather jerked off with sand paper.

You're just gonna go out of your mind trying to figure it out so it's best not to try. Just go for it, if you have to bang a fatty go ahead, big girls need loving to. Have I tangled in the sheets with a few walruses in my day? Sure, it's all the same once the lights are off. Just go for it and make sure it's at their place so you can make a run for it in the morning. When you can't tell if she's hot, just error on the side of aggressiveness. Go get it, because that one day you wake up next to a dime piece, you'll be thanking me every step of the way.