What a fucking jackass. He tried doing a nice gesture by sending himself in a package to his girlfriend at her office for her birthday. Too bad for him he forgot to do something like poke a fucking hole in the box so he could breathe. Turns out the package got delayed three hours and when she opened the package it was just him laying there unconscious like a spineless jellyfish. Instead of happy birthday it was call the paramedics and give my dumb ass boyfriend some air. I actually laughed out loud when I read this shit. You can't make it up. If it happened earlier he easily would've been asshole of the day, but this will do just fine.
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