Jet fans, I am actually sincerely sorry for the play of Mark Sanchez last night. I take full responsibility in what transpired in that game in Baltimore. Why? Well, as you all know, I am the fantasy football kiss of death. All the fantasy experts said, "Don't play Ben Roethlisberger," because the Texans defense is going to rape and pillage him. So what do I do? I play the Sanchize hoping that maybe he gets me some points. But no, he throws for massive amounts of yardage in his first three games of the year while sitting on my bench, and when I finally need him, he gets me a blistering negative three points. Are ya kidding? I need this asshole to do one thing for me ever, just get me positive points, and he can't even do that. So yes, I put the hex on Mr. Sanchez last night. I apologize for that, but unfortunately for you Jet fans, Roethlisberger is in a boot now and I will most likely need to play Sanchez again next week. Fuck me right? If my fantasy team is shit I might as well enjoy watching Sanchez turn the ball over five times a game. What do I have to lose?
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