A True Pimp

 

Drunk Story from Tucker (Sacred Heart)

Well it was Halloween and I went to a house party that went from a get together of just friends and turned out of control. Just like my roommates, I was there to get as drunk as I possibly could. They'll never admit it to me, but I taught them how to drink. Now, I'm at this party dressed as basically a makeshift pimp. I found a giant hat at the halloween store and bought a thirty dollar bathrobe to make myself look like a pimp. As the night went on, I was absolutely obliterated. There was this girl at the party who wanted me for a couple of years. She was always a sloppy mess and she started coming on to me like she usually did when she got fucked up. At this point my two roommates are nowhere to be found and I run upstairs to the bathroom to take a piss. Apparently this bitch followed me up the stairs. I open the bathroom door and she basically tackles me back in. Basically, this was the point of no return and I'm figuring pussy's pussy right? So I bend this girl over and bang her doggy style in the most disgusting college bathroom you may ever see. In the middle of this I look to my left and see myself in the mirror with my pimp hat still on banging this girl. I tried extremely hard not to laugh, but I couldn't help it. It's not one of my proudest moments, but it still makes for an awesome story. 

Sounds like nothing but a true pimp to me.