Meat Juice

 

Have you ever gone to the gym and noticed those dudes walking around carrying gallons of water? It's always a huge dude who is definitely on some form of steroids and he thinks he's fooling everyone by telling them that he drinks eight gallons of water a day. What is the purpose of this? Has it suddenly become cool to walk around with gallons of water while at the gym? 

What I don't understand is the purpose behind this method. Like do you just not want to have to refill a regular water bottle, or do you just like drinking your Shop Rite brand tap water that just so happens to be in a convenient 75 cent gallon? I'm guessing you do not enjoy the free water from the ever so conveniently located water fountain? Do you supposed that this looks sexy and attracts women towards you while you are working out? 

I don't have the answer to this I just need to know. The proper name for this gallon of almost free tap water is meat juice. Yes, we have all read the articles in mens health that drinking water keeps your muscles pumping all day long, but who the hell are you fooling? It's not the water that's pumping your muscles, it's the needle you stick in your ass before or after your workout. I'm not opposed to steroids at all actually, I'm just opposed to people who take steroids acting like they don't take them. 

So keep on drinking your meat juice Sally the Camel, and try to pass it off to everyone that it's all about water and protein shakes. You're not fooling anyone big guy, all you're really doing is looking like a bigger asshole with that bandana on your head and gallon of water at your feet. Yes, the man drinking the meat juice will always be wearing a bandana or sleeve on his head, it's just science.