Thursday, May 24, 2012

Thursday: Things I Wish I Could Tell My Girlfriend

 
This Week:
34) Is a few minutes of 69 so much to ask for?

Previous Weeks:
1) You should've seen this chick I banged last night
2) Bet your ass that when we break up I'm gonna try and bang all your hot friends
3) I slept with your best friend
4) You look fat in those jeans
5) I've had better
6) All your guy friends are trying to nail you
7) You've gained a few pounds 
8) I can't believe you let me go raw right away
9) Your sister is hotter than you 
10) Let's have a threesome with your Mom because she didn't mind having sex with me yesterday
11) I totally forgot to pull out last night
12) The number of girls I've had sex with is about three times more than you think it is
13) You're not that hot
14) Your best friend is the biggest bitch I know 
15) He calls you because he wants to bang you
16) I would go to jail to bang your brother's 16 year old girlfriend
17) You shouldn't be wearing that slutty outfit when I'm not around
18) I'm a great wing man
19) You give sub par head
20) How come I never actually get anything out of Valentine's Day?
21) Who wouldn't want to have sex with me?
22) Your performance in bed last night was not the usual
23) I can read you like a book
24) I get a hall pass this weekend right?
25) My dick is like a ten foot strand of fly tape, whenever I walk into a room vaginas just stick to it
26) There's a good chance of me being able to have sex with someone other than you this weekend
27) Is there a threesome with your hot friend in the foreseeable future?
28) What's your thoughts on the rusty trombone?
29) Your bitch friend is just mad because we have awesome sex and she hasn't been laid in years
30) I'm slipping it in your butt without asking one of these days
31) Your DUFF has to go, she's scaring my friends away
32) I don't actually cum half the time
33) At least give me a warning before you decide to tickle my butthole

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