Drunk Story Saturday's: The Walk Of Shame

 

Drunk Story from James (Monmouth)

It was my freshman year of college and it was my first college halloween. All you really need to know about college halloween is that it's the most ridiculous "holiday" of the year because it's just one big excuse for people to get fucked up in costumes and girls to be whores. Of course me and all my friends decide that we're gonna dress up and preppy dudes for halloween. We were all wearing really short khaki shorts, plaid button downs with bright colors, sailor hats and flip flops. And the kicker, aviators. We were actually trying to look gay. 

Now we go to this house party and this place was packed. To this day it was still the greatest house party of all time. Massive amounts of kegs, an actual DJ, and a shitload of hot ass girls. We didn't really need much else. Middle of the night my friend and I pounce on these two girls. We're dancing with them having an awesome time and then somehow I ended up just making out with this chick all over the house. Long story short, I went back to this girls room. 

When we got there I had the worst case of whiskey dick anyone's ever seen. I couldn't feel anything. And what's even worse was that I was sobering up in the middle of it and this girl was what you would call not that good looking. So I'm having sex with her while watching friends on her TV because it was pretty much pointless for me to even have my dick inside her. When I realized there was no shot of me coming I said I was done and I rolled over and went to bed. I stole the blankets too. 

That weekend happened to be parents weekend. Her parents were coming up. Awesome. She wakes up frantically to a phone call telling me I had to leave right away. As I'm walking out the door in a pink and green plaid shirt, a sailor hat, khaki shorts that might as well have been girls volleyball shorts and flip flops that didn't even fit my feet; here comes Mom, Dad, and little brother walking into the suite. As I was judged on the spot I waved and said good morning. Dad looked at me like he knew I just fucked his daughter, but he didn't wanna believe I just fucked his daughter. Either way, I won. 

I then took the ten minute walk back to my dorm in my ridiculous outfit as parents are driving by staring at me like I was a complete savage, at which this point in my life, I was. I get back to my dorm only to find out that all of my friends also got laid the night before including my friend who was found passed out on the side of the house we were at. The first halloween in college really set the bar for expectations the next three years of my college career. 

Yes, I know exactly what college halloween is like and yes this is one of the best stories we have ever put on this thing. Keep on sending them.