There is a very simple rule I have whenever I go out that people do not have any intention on actually following. My main rule when I go out is that nobody fucks with the bouncer. Bouncer's are extremely large men who's only job is to kick your ass the fuck out especially if you mouth off. But the problem is that people don't understand that.
For instance, the other night I watched a five on two and the two bouncers ate these guys for breakfast, lunch and dinner. First of all, do not call a bouncer an asshole because then you get choked up against the wall. That is rule number one in my book. Next, don't let your friend try to go after a bouncer from behind, because the other bouncer will fuck your day up. I witnessed this the other night and the bouncer made the kid look like a rat that's just gotten strangled by a boa constrictor. He was so quick to walk up and head lock this kid that I thought the kid's neck actually snapped.
And then the other three asshole guys who tried to get in on the action. One of the bouncers actually punched through the first kid, and hit the dude's buddy standing right behind him and knocked them both out with one punch. I mean his fists were like a mack truck going 80 mph down a hill. Just destroying everything in their path. Then one other asshole tried to get in on the action and he just got straight up cold clocked by the bouncer who I thought had snapped the kids neck with his headlock.
People just don't get it. Fucking with the bouncers at a bar or a club is the worst idea you could possibly have. If your tough guy friend wants to fuck with the bouncer, let him be. Just don't get involved because I can promise that you'll be eating a haymaker to the jaw and not be conscious enough to talk about it.
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