Why I Despise The Rockefeller Center Christmas Tree

 

Call me Scrooge, call me Grinch, Call me whoever the fuck you want, but I absolutely hate everything about the Christmas Tree in Rockefeller Center, and I hate everything about the lighting ceremony. "But how could you hate something so glorious Steve?" It's actually quite simple. If you're a human being who thinks rationally, you'll probably agree with me. My bad I don't have a raging boner to watch a tree get lit up. 

First and foremost the actual tree lighting ceremony. People literally come from thousands of miles away to wait for some asshole to plug a fucking switch in. I have a tree in my living room that I plug in too, it's the same thing. Has anyone ever noticed that it looks the same every year? And they always make up some bullshit excuse about who donated the tree too. I wouldn't be surprised if they just put up the same big ass fake one every year, that would make a lot more sense. 

The next thing I hate is that people have to go and see it. Every dumb girl NEEDS to go and get a picture with her boyfriend in front of the tree. It's a must for the Christmas season facebook default. It's a fucking tree. Also, you can't even get anywhere near the tree when you go see it. There's millions of other assholes just like you who are trying to get a picture standing directly underneath the fucking thing. They're all tourists who are in awe of this thing, why I don't know; and they don't fucking move. They just stand there and stare as if they've never seen lights before. Suck me. 

And then of course the last thing I hate is when people keep asking me if I want to go see the tree. No, I do not want to go see the fucking tree. I would rather watch an 80 year old married couple have sex on their plastic covered couch than go see the fucking tree. It's a tree, this isn't like some miracle that happened. It's a tree that lights up with electricity. If I wait two weeks my living room will have the same thing. A tree, lights and an outlet. Then at least after I watch my tree get lit I can go up to my bedroom and crank one. If you really wanna watch a tree get lit, just watch your tree light up in your house. It's exactly the same thing.