Have you just gotten out of a long relationship? You're probably down in the dumps right now sitting at home. Don't worry, we'll help you get over that evil bitch or that asshole boyfriend you thought was the one. You're still young, there's plenty of people out there for you. Here's how you can get over your ex...
Get out of the house: Get your ass up, stop feeling sorry for yourself on the couch and get out of the house. When you sit at home the walls just close in on you. Go out with your friends and get your ex off your mind. Play some basketball, go for a run, do something, just get out of the house.
Go out there and get some strange ass: You've been having sex with the same person for however long you were together. Unless either one of you is a porn star, I'm pretty sure it got boring after month number two. Go get with a complete stranger and have an awesome one night stand. Then sneak out in the morning and make that complete stranger feel cheap. It's the best way to do it.
If you can't fuck that bitch, fuck that bitch: If you go out there and you get turned down, just move on to the next one. Trying to get with someone is like taking batting practice, if you swing and miss you still get another pitch. Unless of course it's the end of the round.
Remove them from your phone: Take your ex's number out of your phone. Why? So when you go out and get drunk you're not tempted to text them. Also, so you're not tempted to text them during the day when you're feeling "lonely". Just remember, the more time you go without speaking to your ex, the faster you get over him or her.
Stay away from their friends: All you'll hear about if you see or talk to one of your ex's friends is how you're doing, how your ex feels so bad, and that you'll get through it. Fuck that noise. You don't want to hear about that shit. Tell your ex's friends if they want to talk to you, come out and get drunk and then hop in the sack with you.
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