The Ash Man Heads To Homecoming

It's here. Christmas, St.Patty's Day and Thanksgiving Eve all rolled into one.... Homecoming.

Before we get started just wanna cover some things :

Friday- hotel party

Saturday-

-wake up at 9am, go shopping for food (people not in hotel should bring food, PLENTY OF CUPS, your own booze, and a table or grill if you have it)

-head down and be ready for tailgate at 11 1130 (opens at noon)

-bar

-10pm limo to strip club

-2am limo back to hotel

Now, aside from those of you with excused absences, anyone who doesn't show knows who they support and how difficult it will be for them to sleep at night.

But I'm not here to talk about negative things like Casey Anthony, clubbing of baby seals, The Bay of Pigs Invasion, Bret Hart getting screwed out of a title, flat tires, sweatshops, obesity, spinach, jamming your finger, the dark years of Britney Spears when she went bald, mayonnaise , RA's who love their racist mommy, hostage crises, the episode of Family Matters where Laura's friend gets shot for her sneakers, spiders, or RA's who use their money to suck up to the hockey team while they secretly sell adderall and have no friends...,and smoke pole.

My brother tells me life is all about how you look at it and how to find good in things and it will have a great impact on your life . So with that, I'll try and list all the positive things I know, and the ones I'm looking forward to :

Seeing old friends, Wild Cherry Pepsi, Kate Upton, company expense accounts, mass text messages, solid color v-neck tshirts, finding new smokeshow students, poker, cashiers who screw up by giving you too much change back, new sneakers, yoga pants , mozzarella sticks, the color green, Avicii, hotel beds, Gus Johnson, clean underwear, the scene in Die Hard when Bruce Willis kills a Russian terrorist & writes now I have a machine gun Ho-Ho-Ho on his tshirt, naps, being tan, fitted hats, D'Jais, sour apple lollipops, girls with a fluorescent bra under a white tshirt (you know we can see it right?) cherry vodka and Pepsi, how sexy Alex Morgan looks in that headband, Paulie Walnuts, body shots off hot chicks, America, girls who know how to shake that butt, Old Lady Mary from the dining hall, stories you've heard 5 times but still make you laugh, dance floors and our college.

Got a text last might that said, "Me and some people were just talking... this homecoming.. this will be the one we tell our grandiose about... after they graduate college "

Can't sum it up any better. It's all set up for us to break records, let's do it!

Oh and when you tell your kids about this in 20 years don't forget you mention two things: 1-just how insane and mentally deranged I am and 2- YOU HAD FUKIN PRIDE !!!!

-ASH MAN