I Can Do That Myself

Drunk Story from Joe (Boston College)


I got totally taken advantage of by a girl who was sober. I texted this girl to meet me out one night so she shows up very late with her friend. Suddenly the cops show up and raid the bar we were at. It was my sophomore year of college so I was 19 and I had to get the fuck out of there. I jet out the back door with my roommate, the girl I texted, and her roommate. What you will need to know for later in the story is that my roommate and her roommate literally met in the car when we left this place. 


The girl says she'll drive us back to our dorm so obviously we weren't gonna turn down the free ride. Also keep in mind that both of these girls were stone sober and me and my roommate were hammered. We get back to the dorm and they asked if they should come hang out, so again we said yes. Not that I had no intention of getting with this girl, but it wasn't in the plan as I started my night. But at this point, I was drunk and she was there. 


We go to the room and the girl I was talking to sits in my bed, and her roommate sits in my roommates bed. Our main rule always is that if she's in the bed, she walked into the lions den, now I'm making a move. Me and my roommate look at each other and give the head nod, meaning that it's go time. I shut the lights and we start fucking around with these girls. About five minutes later I hear my roommate from the other side of the room say, "I can do that myself". She tried to give him a hand job and he basically told her no, you're blowing me. And she did. Now the girl I'm with is on top of me, she stops, looks at me and says, "Do you just want me to blow you?" Obviously I'm not turning this down. 


Now my roommate and I are both getting blowies at the same time and we start having a conversation while this is going on. The girl who's blowing me stops, looks over at my roommate and goes, "I can't really talk right now I kind of have my mouth full, haha." And then proceeds with the BJ. It might have been one of the single greatest moments to ever happen in a bedroom. Then when it was over they even made us feel cheap by sneaking out when we fell asleep at like 4:30 in the morning. 


Recapping the story, my roommate caught a BJ from a girl he met fifteen minutes beforehand, we both got taken advantage of, and this girl had the line of the century. And we got taken advantage of. Don't listen to the bullshit when people say only men take advantage of drunk women. This is an example of women taking advantage of drunk men. 


This is incredible. I am honored that you sent this to me.