Facebook Statuses About Your Men's Softball Team

Congratulations! You never were an athlete and now that you play in a league with 40 year old guys, you are the most athletic and won your men's slow pitch softball championship. You might be as cool as the most interesting man in the world. Or you just need to take a long look in the mirror and realize that it's slow pitch softball and you're 20 something years old.

Let's get it straight, I played some softball for the last two years and had a good time. We won a few championships, but never did I brag about it. Like come on, it's a league of misfits with non matching uniforms. I have no problem if you're just doing it to screw around, I do have a problem if you write statuses similar to the following:
"Playoffs, lets goooo", "Champs baby, good shit boyzzz" etc.

Also, if your default is an action shot of you playing you are a fag (I know fag is not politically correct, but I am not making fun of gay people, I am making fun of fools). It makes it worse if you have eye black on, a $300 glove or bat, a shit ton of wrist bands and whatever other nonsense people have. That makes you Super Fag and a premier candidate for defriendment.

Last thing. Sunday morning softball leagues, are the worst. Unlike the majority of the young adult (adult status is based on age and not maturity level) community on Staten Island, I work 5 days a week. The weekend is my time. A time to do what I want and wake up when I want. I need an 8am softball game, which means I have to get up around 6:45 (wake up, eat something, find my uniform, and drive to the projects), like I need a hemorrhoid. Nine Saturdays out of ten, I am out and pretty late. What's worse than getting 3 hours of sleep, playing softball in the projects in hot weather with a hang over, and the entire ghetto community serving as your spectators and trying to sell you fake G-Shock watches? The correct answer is death.

Let's try to eliminate the statuses and fucking picture of your men's softball team fella's. If someone tags you, nothing you can do. If you put them up yourself, it won't help you get laid. I can assure you that.