Sarah Says: What Not to Say to the Ladies at Thanksgiving

Thanksgiving is a time of year for family, fun, and binge eating. At the biggest get-togethers you’ll see cousins and aunts that you haven’t seen since last Thanksgiving! Sure you love your family, but what about those distant female cousins you don’t know that well? Tread lightly. You’re dealing with woman, booze and carbs. Here’s what not to say.

Could you please go get me some more stuffing?

Get your own damn stuffing, I’m eating.

Hey, go easy on the holiday wine.

Go easy on your face.

My, you’ve grown!

Are you calling me fat?

So, are there any men in your life?

[Insert death stare here]

Did you hear about how lovely your cousin’s wedding was?

Yes, I was there.

Do you know how many carbs that has?

No, and I could not give less of a shit. Pass the potatoes.

Don’t you think you’ve had enough turkey?

No, fuck you.

Here are the safest things to discuss with those distant lady cousins: How great the food is, how great their hair looks and that juicy gossip about your crazy aunt.

Happy Thanksgiving, boys!

Sarah is the founder of Not the It Girls. You can contact her at sarah@nottheitgirls.com.