If I Could Punch One Guy in the Face it Would Easily Be Keith Law

If I could punch one guy in the face it would be this dweeb up here Keith Law who's a member of the baseball writers association. He's also a fucking sabermetrics baseball guy, which means he's a guy who never played the game and does math equations to figure out how good players are. He's also a fucking asshole. Yesterday he told ESPN it was "embarrassing" that Miguel Cabrera won the AL MVP award. Well Keith, you're a jerkoff and here's why.

Number one, I can see the argument for Mike Trout, I get it, the guy is amazing. But for you to completely discredit a guy who did something that hasn't been done since 1967, you're a real fucking jackass. You say runs are more important than RBI's? How is that even possible when you can control your own RBI's, you can't control scoring a run. To score a run yes you have to get on base, but someone has to actually get a hit to get you in. Scoring a run is dependent on someone else. Driving in a run is dependent on you. Yes, someone needs to be on base, but you're controlling whether he scores or not. The guy on base isn't the one controlling who's scoring the run.

Next, you wanna throw out the stat of WAR (wins above replacement) that tells you how many wins a team wouldn't have if the player's minor leaguer was playing for them. Asshole, 90% of the time a guy gets hurt, his AAA or AA player at his position doesn't automatically get called up. They find another major leaguer on the roster to fill that void. Also, Miguel Cabrera played 161 games this season. You know what that means? That means that WAR is a totally irrelevant stat for him. How are you going to base the MVP off a made up stat that consists of a what if? That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard.

Finally, you wanna talk valuable? How about in September when the games matter the most, Cabrera hit .330 and drove in 30 runs in 31 games and lead his team to the division title. That means he drove in pretty much one run per game when the games mattered the most. Don't sit there and tell me that the games in April and May mean just as much as the games in September. They don't. If you lose a game in September you might not be able to make it up, if you lose a game in April and May, you have plenty of time to make it up. Not to mention that Cabrera willingly changed positions to play 3rd base so his team could bring in Prince Fielder.

Be mad about it. But don't call it an embarrassment. You're a moron if you want to sit there and discredit a Triple Crown, something that hasn't been done in decades. You also want to compare a power number three hitter to a leadoff hitter when you want to talk things like stolen bases. Cabrera's a power hitter, he doesn't steal bases. He drives in the guy like Trout who gets on base. But driving the run in is completely irrelevant right? Tell that to the Yankees who left an African village on the bases in the ALCS. I wish I met you because I would love to punch you in the face. And also, you want to talk sabermetrics with the Oakland A's, that's all you want to talk about. News flash, the A's might be a nice franchise and win a division title from time to time, but how many World Series have they won since they figured out all these math equations? ZERO. Keep getting mad bro, you're a fucking asshole.