Last night against the Houston Astros, Matt Cain threw arguably the most dominant perfect game in the history of the perfect game.
If you watched last night, Matt had a little extra support in the stands from his smokebomb wife Chelsea. This got me to thinking, last year I religiously watched "The Franchise: A Season With The SF Giants" and I got highly informed on the wife situation of players. So here's my wife rankings...
5. Kristen Posey (Buster's Play Toy)
Buster was obviously shelved for most of the year with the broken ankle. While he was rehabbing, Kristen was busy housing twins. A female friend of mine, who also watched the show, believed that Kristen seemed extremely bitchy. Since the two were high school sweethearts I could see why she thinks this. Buster has been a stud athlete in high school and college (Florida State nonetheless) so I can't imagine how many sluts this chick has had to fend off the past almost 10 years? I'd be a little bitchy too.
(Scales Are 1 to 10 because that's just how it is duh)
Attractiveness ... 5.5
Loyalty ... 8
Personality ... 4
Overall ... 5.83
4. Amber Marie Seyer (Barry Zito's Wife)
Maybe a little low for Amber who wasn't on the show that much, really for just one episode, but the pictures don't lie. Barry may not be what he once was, but the man knows what he's doing. He cashed in and judging by his ex (who may just pop up on this list) I'm sure he's used it to bang quite a few thoroughbreds. Like I said didn't gain too much intel on Amber except I'd probably do her. Definitely probably.
Attractiveness ... 9.5
Loyalty ... 3.5
Personality ... 5
Overall ... 6
3. Chelsea Cain (Mr. Perfect's Perfect Wife)
Chelsea Cain is perfect. Even though Matt Cain is perfect on the mound he absolutely isn't off of it. All I could say to myself when watching the show last year was wow he's lucky he's got money because he's hideous. The girl was dumb as rocks but all the footage of them on the show was great, they're so into each other which you can't be mad about. They have a cute little kid and last night the kiss between the two in the dugout was some awesome shit, can't hate.
Attractiveness ... 9.5
Loyalty ... 8
Personality ... 6.5
Overall ... 8
2. Ari Brugh (Barry Zito's SICK ex)
Yes I know, not a wife, or even an ex-wife but do yourself one good thing today and check out Miss Ari's google image search. She is constantly being featured as a barstool smokeshow. I really don't have much else to say here.
Attractiveness ... 10
Loyalty ... does it matter?
Personality ... who cares?
Overall ... I Want You
1. Nicole Vogelsong (Ryan's Dime)
I fucking love Nicole Vogelsong. The best part about Matt Cain's perfect game last night was seeing Nicole right next to Chelsea Cain the whole time. Nicole is not only a smoke red head but think about it. Before last year Ryan was an absolute nobody. He was playing baseball all over the world in crappy countries not called America and Nicole stuck with him the whole time. That's fucking dedication man. We as men can only hope we find someone close to Nicole who will stick with us through much worse.
Attractiveness ... 9
Loyalty ... 10
Personality ... 8
Overall ... 9
Honorable Mentions:
- Yoletzade Sandoval
- Baubi Huff
You are an idiot.
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