When my buddy threw his parties in his massive basement it was standing room only and everyone was into it. There was no possible way anyone could sit on a couch and watch a baseball game in its entirety. That would just never happen. But last night, it was like twenty kids were packed like sardines in one corner and the rest of the basement was empty. One dude was rocking a Taylor Gang Or Die shirt and thought smoking hookah was like the coolest thing ever. Who the fuck smokes hookah at a house party?
And then there were girls there but there really weren't girls there. Like a group of them came but stood on the other side of the room huddled up by themselves. It was almost like an all boys and all girls high school freshman dance where everyone keeps their distance and doesn't really say anything. And then I'm thinking about how awesome our parties were. These kids were crowded around two small tables watching each other play beer pong. They totally disregarded the giant ping pong table in the middle of the room.
At our parties we had a game of civil war going on the ping pong table and then if I recall correctly one game of flip cup on one of the side tables and another game of baseball on the other table. We came to get fucked up and it was always a packed house. These kids last night were staring at us sitting on the couch like we didn't know how to party. But kids, we've been partying since before you were in your father's nuts. And you know what? Our parties were hands down way better.
Sidenote: The Bryce Harper t-shirts did make an appearance though. Can't ask for much better than that.
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