http://www.washingtonpost.com/blogs/the-buzz/post/dcs-single-ladies-are-nations-happiest-survey-finds/2012/03/08/gIQAtfmPzR_blog.html?Post+generic=%3Ftid%3Dsm_twitter_washingtonpost
Who was shocked by this? No one that lives in Boston I can tell you that. I used to think it was just me, but this article got me thinking why being a single girl in Boston sucks. And I realized something…it's because Boston women are fucking crazy.
Before all you girls go Gronk on my ass, hear me out because I am one of you. I don't mean the bat shit kind of crazy that I wrote about a few weeks ago. We are fucking crazy in the fact that we don't take shit from anyone, and we will kick the living piss out of you if you even look at us the wrong way. Women in Boston are also some of the most crazed sports fans in the world. If I had a dollar for every time I heard a girl yelling "ya fakan losa go suck Jeter's dick" at a Fenway bar I'd be a fucking millionaire. Think about it, if you can get to Boston in 45 minutes or less (and I say 45 minutes because we all know how much 93 sucks ass) you probably grew up in a town where there was a girl fight in your school every other day. And not a girl fight like pulling hair and shit, I'm talking about chicks straight up socking each other in the face. Think about all the areas around Boston: Brockton, Fall River, fucking Lowell…those places aren't the Bronx or anything but I still wouldn't fuck around there. So if you're from this area, and you can't understand why your friends think it's weird you threatened to punch someone for taking your parking spot or they have to constantly remind you that having a Yankee sticker on a car is not an excuse to slash that person's tires, congratulations you are a crazy Boston girl.
What does this have to do with being single? Well, it's because most guys can't handle a Boston girl. Chicks from New York and Jersey are tough too, but at least they have respectful Italian guys that will still pull out their chairs and shit. Boston is the only city I've been to where girls pay cover, and for a guy's drink half the time. We say what's on our mind, and we will most likely beat you in sports knowledge. So most guys in Boston don't even bother treating you like a girl anymore. Like this stat in the article, 1 in 8 Boston Guys expect sex on the 1st date. What the fuck is that shit?? Don't get me wrong, I'm all for girls getting it, but on the 1st date? C'mon, then you have to figure that out of that 8 at least 4 will expect a blow job, and 2 will want to cop a feel or something. That leaves 1 guy who's not gonna try to get in your panties. Then, if you do manage to meet a guy that's not from there, he usually ends up wondering why you're so tapped. It's because I like to do it with my sox on buddy. But hey, everyone who knows me knows I love Boston and would probably get the "B" tattooed on my ass if I could. So even if it sucks being single in Boston, ladies crack open an ice cold bud light because you're fucking awesome on your own.
Before all you girls go Gronk on my ass, hear me out because I am one of you. I don't mean the bat shit kind of crazy that I wrote about a few weeks ago. We are fucking crazy in the fact that we don't take shit from anyone, and we will kick the living piss out of you if you even look at us the wrong way. Women in Boston are also some of the most crazed sports fans in the world. If I had a dollar for every time I heard a girl yelling "ya fakan losa go suck Jeter's dick" at a Fenway bar I'd be a fucking millionaire. Think about it, if you can get to Boston in 45 minutes or less (and I say 45 minutes because we all know how much 93 sucks ass) you probably grew up in a town where there was a girl fight in your school every other day. And not a girl fight like pulling hair and shit, I'm talking about chicks straight up socking each other in the face. Think about all the areas around Boston: Brockton, Fall River, fucking Lowell…those places aren't the Bronx or anything but I still wouldn't fuck around there. So if you're from this area, and you can't understand why your friends think it's weird you threatened to punch someone for taking your parking spot or they have to constantly remind you that having a Yankee sticker on a car is not an excuse to slash that person's tires, congratulations you are a crazy Boston girl.
What does this have to do with being single? Well, it's because most guys can't handle a Boston girl. Chicks from New York and Jersey are tough too, but at least they have respectful Italian guys that will still pull out their chairs and shit. Boston is the only city I've been to where girls pay cover, and for a guy's drink half the time. We say what's on our mind, and we will most likely beat you in sports knowledge. So most guys in Boston don't even bother treating you like a girl anymore. Like this stat in the article, 1 in 8 Boston Guys expect sex on the 1st date. What the fuck is that shit?? Don't get me wrong, I'm all for girls getting it, but on the 1st date? C'mon, then you have to figure that out of that 8 at least 4 will expect a blow job, and 2 will want to cop a feel or something. That leaves 1 guy who's not gonna try to get in your panties. Then, if you do manage to meet a guy that's not from there, he usually ends up wondering why you're so tapped. It's because I like to do it with my sox on buddy. But hey, everyone who knows me knows I love Boston and would probably get the "B" tattooed on my ass if I could. So even if it sucks being single in Boston, ladies crack open an ice cold bud light because you're fucking awesome on your own.
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